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October 2007

October 31, 2007

The Top 100 Greatest Fucking Horror Movies Ever Made, Part 3

Part 1, Part 2.


The Top 100 Greatest Fucking Horror Movies Ever Made, Part 3


31. An American Werewolf in London (1981, John Landis)


32. Black Christmas (1974, Bob Clark*)


33. Blood Freak (1972, Brad F. Grinter & Steve Hawkes)


34. The Brotherhood 2: Young Warlocks (2001, David DeCoteau*)


35. Carrie (1976, Brian De Palma)


36. Come to Daddy, music video by Aphex Twin (1997, Chris Cunningham*)


37. The Descent (2005, Neil Marshall*)


38. Doppelganger (1993, Avi Nesher)


39. Fright Night (1985, Tom Holland)


40. Ginger Snaps (2000, John Fawcett)


41. The Grapes of Death (1978, Jean Rollin*)


42. Haze (2005, Shinya Tsukamoto)


43. Jaws (1975, Steven Spielberg*)


44. Jenifer (2005, Dario Argento)


45. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, Wes Craven)


46. The People Under the Stairs (1991, Wes Craven*)


47. The Thing (1982, John Carpenter*)


48. Two Thousand Maniacs (1964, Herschell Gordon Lewis*)


49. The Vanishing (1988, George Sluizer)


50. The Wizard of Gore (1970, Herschell Gordon Lewis)


On to Part 4

October 29, 2007

The Top 100 Greatest Fucking Horror Movies Ever Made, Part 2

In case you missed it, here's Part 1.


The Top 100 Greatest Fucking Horror Movies Ever Made, Part 2


51. Bride of Re-Animator (1990, Brian Yuzna)


52. Cat's Eye (1985, Lewis Teague)


53. Cigarette Burns (2005, John Carpenter)


54. Dawn of the Dead (2004, Zack Snyder*)


55. The Devil in Miss Jones (1973, Gerard Damiano)


56. Don't Look in the Basement (1973, S.F. Brownrigg)


57. The Evil Dead* and Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn* (1981 and 1987, Sam Raimi*)


58. Final Destination (2000, James Wong)


59. Final Destination 2* (2003, David Ellis)


60. Flesh for Frankenstein (1973, Paul Morrissey)


61. Frankenhooker (1990, Frank Henenlotter)


62. Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982, Steve Miner)


63. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter* (1984, Joseph Zito)


64. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996, Robert Rodriguez)


65. Head of the Family (1996, Charles Band*)


66. The Hitcher (1986, Robert Harmon)


67. The House on Haunted Hill (1959, William Castle*)


68. The House on the Edge of the Park (1980, Ruggero Deodato*)


69. Killer Condom (1996, Martin Walz)


70. May (2002, Lucky McKee)


71. The Others (2001, Alejandro Amenabar)


72. Planet Terror (2007, Robert Rodriguez*)


73. Possession (1981, Andrzej Zulawski)


74. Puppet Master* (1989, David Schmoeller)


75. Saw II* (2005, Darren Lynn Bousman)


76. Scanners (1981, David Cronenberg)


77. Seed of Chucky* (2004, Don Mancini)


78. Shaun of the Dead (2004, Edgar Wright*)


79. The Shining (1980, Stanley Kubrick)


80. Sick Girl (2006, Lucky McKee*)


81. Slither (2006, James Gunn)


82. TerrorVision (1986, Ted Nicolaou)


83. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994, Kim Henkel)


84. They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore (1985, Nathan Schiff*)


85. They Live (1988, John Carpenter)


86. The Tingler (1959, William Castle)


On to Part 3.

October 28, 2007

The Top 100 Greatest Fucking Horror Movies Ever Made, Part 1

I can't believe Halloween is in 3 days. I still need to track down a Fellini's 8½ t-shirt for my Person With Really Bad Taste In Film costume. My plan is to work in the morning and then watch movies for the rest of the day. It's a lot different than what I do every other day.

Inspired by Halloween and by polyester_queen, I've put together a list of my Top 100 Horror Movies. As with any list, there's always complications, and I struggled a lot with what movies I would consider to be "horror". Like, Troll 2 is technically a horror film, and it's one that I enjoy more than any other horror film, but I don't really love it as horror, so I wouldn't say it's my Favorite Horror Movie of All Time. So then do I not include it at all? Do I have to figure out where it ranks for me as horror, and place it at like #60 or whatever? And if I don't include it, do I then also disqualify similarly silly films like Leprechaun 3 and TerrorVision? That feels all wrong. Funny Games was another really hard one. If it is a horror film, then I would say it's the best one ever. But is it? Is it more of a thriller? I've been going back and forth a lot. For right now, I'm only posting Part 1 of the Top 100 list, so I've still got time to decide. Either one of those could end up being #1 on the list, depending on how I feel the day I post it.

There are a few other movies that I really love that are either widely regarded as horror or just have some elements of horror, that I don't really think of that way myself. So here is my list of

The Top 7 Movies I Suppose I Could've Possibly Included On My Top 100 Horror List But Didn't (not ranked)
1. American Psycho (2000, Mary Harron)
2. Eraserhead (1977, David Lynch)
3. Freaks (1932, Tod Browning)
4. Gozu (2003, Takashi Miike)
5. The Monster Squad (1987, Fred Dekker)
6. Nekromantik (1987, Jorg Buttgereit)
7. Spider Baby (1968, Jack Hill)

My other issue is wanting to make this list both aesthetically pleasing and informative. Informative is pretty much out because I'm very bad at writing about movies. I'll try to write a little when I can, but for the most part, just add your own mental caption of "This movie is about awesome shit happening, and it's really amazing, and you should fucking see it!" to every single movie I list. For images, even though these movies are my faves, I don't own all that many of them. So occasionally I'll be able to take screencaps, but for the most part, I'll be going through Google Image Search. So if some of the pictures are really boring and small, or if they don't even have anything to do with the movie apart from coming up when I searched the movie's title, don't be alarmed and I'm sorry.

And finally, there are a ton of movies on this list I remember really loving, but have only seen once, possibly like 10 years ago. And there are also a couple movies I just saw in the last few days that I've fallen in love with that I haven't really had sufficient time to process with regards to how they measure up against other stuff. So for that reason, only the Top 25 is going to be ranked. The rest will be semi-ranked and put in alphabetical order. So like right now, I'm posting numbers 87-100. Were the whole thing accurately ranked, these would still be at the bottom of the list, #s 87-100, they're just not ranked beyond that. Likewise for #s 51-86 and 26-50.

Also, if you see an asterisk next to a director, that means it's my favorite film by the director. If the asterisk is next to the movie title, that means it's my favorite of the series it belongs to.

The Top 100 Greatest Fucking Horror Movies Ever Made, Part 1


87. Army of Darkness (1992, Sam Raimi)


88. Audition (1999, Takashi Miike)


89. A Bay of Blood (1971, Mario Bava)


90. The Brotherhood (2001, David DeCoteau)


91. Cannibal Holocaust (1980, Ruggero Deodato)


92. Day of the Dead* (1985, George A. Romero*)


93. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989, Rob Hedden*)


94. The House by the Cemetery (1981, Lucio Fulci)


95. New Nightmare (1994, Wes Craven)


96. Phenomena (1985, Dario Argento)


97. Shock (1977, Mario Bava*)


98. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974, Tobe Hooper)


99. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006, Jonathan Liebesman*)


100. Trick or Treat (1986, Charles Martin Smith*)


On to Part 2.

October 26, 2007

"Face mutilated with a meat tenderizer, throat slit, and this one had her ass beat in." Reviews (10/19 - 10/25)

10/19


Flowers in the Attic (1987, Jeffrey Bloom, 35mm) - 9.5


A Nightmare on Elm Street (rewatch, 1984, Wes Craven, 35mm) - 9


The Hills Have Eyes (rewatch, 1977, Wes Craven, 35mm) - 8

10/20


Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973, Richard Blackburn, dvd) - 8

10/21


The Man with the Golden Gun (1974, Guy Hamilton, dvd) - 7


The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970, Dario Argento, dvd) - 5


The Gore Gore Girls (1972, Herschell Gordon Lewis, dvd) - 9

10/23


Persona (1966, Ingmar Bergman, 35mm) - 7


Hour of the Wolf (1968, Ingmar Bergman, 35mm) - 6

10/25


Fright Night (1985, Tom Holland, dvd) - 9.5


Hotel Chevalier (short, 2007, Wes Anderson, 35mm)
The Darjeeling Limited (2007, Wes Anderson, 35mm) - 9


Now Playing movies I need 2 see
30 Days of Night
Cat's Eye (Balboa)
Control
Cujo (Castro)
Eraserhead (Castro, brand new print!)
Firestarter (Castro)
Lars and the Real Girl
Saw IV

October 19, 2007

"There was no way I was gonna walk around this place with my dork hanging out!" Reviews (10/12 - 10/18)

10/13


Heavy Metal (1981, Gerald Potterton, 35mm) - 7.5
After awhile, I kind of stopped being able to pay attention. But I liked the first few stories, and the one about the nerdy kid who turns into a hunk when he's transported to another planet was fucking amazing.

10/14


Silent Assassins (1988, Lee Doo Yong & Scott Thomas, vhs) - 7.5
Linda Blair is barely in it, despite her second billing. But Flash Gordon carries the movie on his own pretty damn well.


Rockabilly Vampire (1996, Lee Bennett Sobel, dvd) - 3
Some funny moments, but mostly boring.
Blond Fury (short, 1985, Lee Bennett Sobel, dvd) - 4

10/15


Alice, Sweet Alice (rewatch, 1976, Alfred Sole, dvd) - 10

10/16


All the Colors of the Dark (1972, Sergio Martino, dvd) - 7

10/17


Near Dark (rewatch, 1987, Kathryn Bigelow, vhs) - 8.5

10/18


Daughters of Darkness (1971, Harry Kumel, dvd) - 7


Now Playing movies I need 2 see
30 Days of Night
The Darjeeling Limited
Feel the Noise
Finishing the Game
Flowers in the Attic/Nightmare on Elm Street/The Hills Have Eyes (Castro)
Lars and the Real Girl
Lust, Caution
Persona/Hour of the Wolf (Castro)

October 15, 2007

some tv news

This comes out on November 6.

October 13, 2007

"Fat is old hat. Retarded is the new fat." Reviews (10/5 - 10/11)

10/5


Gleaming the Cube (1989, Graeme Clifford, dvd) - 8


Killer Klowns from Outer Space (rewatch, 1988, Stephen Chiodo, really fucking pristine 35mm) - 10
The print they got looked like it was probably the first time it had ever played. It looked fucking incredible.

10/6


Matinee (semi-rewatch, 1993, Joe Dante, 35mm) - 9


Gremlins 2: The New Batch (rewatch, 1990, Joe Dante, 35mm) - 9
Joe Dante was interviewed onstage beforehand by John Stanley, and they invited Veronica Carlson onstage as well, who was there because of the Hammer films that had played the night before, and it was kind of a bad interview because they literally talked about nothing but Christopher Lee for 15 minutes. It was alright at first, because like, I have an interest in Christopher Lee. But I also have an interest in Joe fucking Dante and Gremlins 2, so I kinda wanted to also hear some stories about him and the movie, and when it became obvious that they really weren't going to change the subject, it was sort of awkward. Finally, at the very end of the interview, Joe plugged a new website he's doing called Trailers from Hell.


Night of the Creeps (rewatch, 1986, Fred Dekker, 35mm) - 10

10/7


Night Patrol (1984, Jackie Kong, dvd) - 6.5


Out for Justice (1991, John Flynn, dvd) - 9

10/9


Beauty and the Geek (season 2, download) - 8


I didn't watch anything over the last few days because I went down to San Diego to see John Waters doing his This Filthy World show, which was really fucking good.

Now Playing movies I need 2 see
The Darjeeling Limited
Feel the Noise
Heavy Metal (Clay)
Lust, Caution
Wild Strawberries/Seventh Seal (Castro)

October 08, 2007

some things I'm interested in

Sorry I never post anymore, I've been meaning to post updates on movies and on my life for like two months now. Instead, here's an Interests Meme from livejournal. Someone went through my interests list and chose seven things they wanted me to explain.

Adolf Hitler
Not much needs to be said. The man was a fuckin' cutie. He may have been responsible for the death of a couple people that possibly didn't deserve it, and yeah, I myself would have been one of the people sent to the concentration camps, but all you gotta do is watch a couple videos of him getting all passionate, screaming and waving his arms all around, while delivering his speeches, or look at a couple of cute pictures of him, and it is literally impossible not to overlook and forgive all his naughty deeds. Am I fascinated at all by World War II, or about how such a malicious man was able to brainwash an entire country? Nope. Not really. I just think Adolf's adorable.

The Beaver Trilogy
This is a collection of three short films by Trent Harris, the director of Rubin & Ed. The first one is a documentary about an amazing personality named Groovin' Gary, who gets all excited when he meets Trent in a TV station parking lot, and hams it up for the camera. They later get together again when Groovin' Gary puts on a talent show at a high school, in which he dresses up as Olivia Newton-John and performs Please Don't Keep Me Waiting. Harris later remade it in a dramatized version with Sean Penn. The basic story of the original documentary is expanded on a little bit, but not much. Penn plays the part by mimicking Groovin' Gary exactly, and it's interesting to see such an early performance by him, but otherwise, the short offers nothing, and you might as well just watch the documentary again. The third short stars Crispin Glover, and this time, the story is expanded a great deal, and Crispin brings a lot of his own personality to the role, making it far more interesting (than the Penn performance). This last one easily functions on it's own, and putting it in the context of the trilogy makes no real difference. In fact, I first saw it at least 6 or 7 years before ever seeing the other two, and it was already one of my favorite short films before I ever even found out Crispin's character was based on a real person. It's hard to pick a favorite between the original and the Crispin version, but I think I'd go with the original because it also includes some unbelievable footage of the other talent show contestants. The whole trilogy is reccomendable if you can find it, and I would personally advise you to split the segments up, and watch one a night, or one a week even, because hearing some of the same lines over and over again does get tiresome if you watch it all at once.

Britney Spears
I wrote about my Britney obsession fairly recently, so there's not a whole lot to add. My favorite Britney songs are Toxic, Sometimes, and Oops I Did It Again. My favorite of her music videos is probably Toxic, but almost all of them are really good. My favorite album is Britney. Crossroads is in my Top 50 Favorite Movies Ever. I really hope she gets her shit together, she's capable of fucking great things.

Cripples Who Walk Funny
One day when I was in 7th grade, I was having lunch, and this kid walked past me. His back was slightly arched and his legs were kinda spread wide, and he would take enormous, wobbly steps. It was so surreal and over-the-top, I assumed he was faking it, and I started laughing. Some asshole next to me (he wasn't an asshole because of this particular exchange, but he was in fact a total asshole, and I was extremely pleased when he got sent to military school) was like, "What the fuck are you laughing at?" And I said, "The way that guy is walking. It's hilarious." And he was like, "It's not funny! That's Cripple McCrippleson (I don't remember his real name), he got shot by his brother." I felt a little bad for laughing, I guess, but I was still really intrigued and amused by it. I've learned now not to be so blatant about laughing or staring, but this fascination with goofy walks resulting from tragic injuries remains as strong as ever.

From Justin To Kelly
This is a movie starring Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson from the first season of American Idol. At first, Justin plays a total womanizer who jokes about never having had a relationship lasting longer than a couple hours, and he's also the kind of guy who hosts whip cream bikini contests. But that all changes within seconds of meeting the virginal, innocent Kelly, who has been dragged to Spring Break by her friends. It's fate that the two of them will end up together, but one of Kelly's friends gets jealous, and does all that she can to stop this from happening. One of the things that really stands out for me about this movie is how mean-spirited and cunty the friend's actions are. It gets pretty uncomfortable, and is a bit inappropriate to the general tone of the film. But the main thing that stands out is Guarini's incredible performance. His screen presence is fucking astounding. It's a fairly perfect movie, anyway, I fucking love the story, the characters, the music, the dancing, the dialogue, the humor, fucking everything about it, but it is moments like when Justin runs into Kelly in the women's restroom while trying to escape some girls who are chasing him for invitations to a party he's throwing, and Kelly advises him to climb out the window, and Justin confidently replies, "Girl, my hair won't fit through there." that make this one of my Very Favorite Movies Of All Time Ever. It's also worth noting that it's written by Kim Fuller, who also wrote Spice World, making her the second greatest screenwriter of all time after Joe Eszterhas.

Paris Hilton
I love pop culture, and she is obviously the pinnacle of it. I don't know or care if she's truly as evil and heartless as everyone makes her out to be. From what unfortunately little I've seen of The Simple Life, she seems adorable and hilarious, which is the only thing that matters to me. I liked her in House of Wax, too.

Takashi Miike
One of my favorite filmmakers. He makes like 10 films a year, so not all of them are good, and some are downright fucking unwatchable, but he easily makes up for it when he pulls off something brilliant. Visitor Q is my #7 Favorite Movie Ever, and the ending of Gozu may just be my #1 Favorite Ending Ever. I haven't actively pursued it in awhile, but I have a goal of watching every film he's ever made (there's over 70), and so far I've seen 38 of them. Here are my Top 10 Favorites:
1. Visitor Q
2. Imprint
3. Ichi the Killer
4. Fudoh: The New Generation
5. Gozu
6. Full Metal Yakuza
7. Deadly Outlaw: Rekka
8. Shinjuku Triad Society
9. Audition
10. Zebraman

And here are my Bottom 5 Least Favorites:
5. The Bird People in China
4. Big Bang Love, Juvenile A
3. The Happiness of the Katakuris
2. Sabu
1. Kumamoto Monogatari

October 06, 2007

Reviews 9/28 - 10/4

a couple weeks ago


The Henry Rollins Show (Season 2, 2006, ifc) - 5
I pretty much like Rollins, but his interviews are often kinda boring. His questions all feel pre-written as opposed to conversational; there's never any real transition from one question to the next. He also makes a huge deal about "uncensored" music performances, and I fucking hate when things are advertised as "uncensored" when there isn't anything actually worth censoring. The only time on the show this seemed to make a difference was when Mars Volta was on, and their song was like 16 minutes. That's cool, I guess, whatever, but it happened to be the episode where the interview was with John Waters, so in order to let Mars Volta play for an "uncensored" time period of way too long, the far more entertaining John Waters interview was cut way short.

9/28


High School Musical (2006, Kenny Ortega, dvd) - 6
I was a little disappointed that this was pretty much just a standard kids movie. I expected a lot more. A lot of it is really kind of terrible, but there's plenty to like, too. I'm seeing it On Ice in a couple weeks.


Monkey Business (1931, Norman Z. McLeod, dvd) - 4.5
Groucho is actually fairly tolerable here, and even Zeppo is given more to do than his regular schtick of being excruciatingly boring. It's pretty close to not being a shitty movie, and it's just about entertaining enough to be mediocre. But even so, I've seen enough now, and it's the final Marx Brothers movie I will probably ever watch.
Here are my general ratings for their films (of which I watched 4):
Groucho: 0
Harpo: 7
Chico: 5
Zeppo: 1
Plots: 1

9/29


Planet of the Apes (rewatch, 1968, Franklin J. Schaffner, really scratched 35mm) - 10


When Television Attacks (2000, TV Carnage, dvd) - 7

9/30


Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003, Jonathan Mostow, dvd) - 9
Arnold's acting is not what it used to be, and his attempts to camp it up here didn't always work, but it's a minor complaint in an otherwise fucking awesome movie. Everyone who didn't like it is retarded.

10/1


The Lie Chair (short, 1975, David Cronenberg, download) - 8
Short TV film Croney did in his early years. It's creepy and weird, and very enjoyable.


Eastern Promises (2007, David Cronenberg, 35mm) - 7.5


Resident Evil: Extinction (2007, Russell Mulcahy, 35mm) - 7.5


Clownhouse (1989, Victor Salva, dvd, digital projection) - 7

10/3


Camille 2000 (1969, Radley Metzger, dvd) - 1.5

10/4


Cemetery Man (aka Dellamorte Dellamore) (1994, Michele Soavi, dvd) - 8.5

Now Playing movies I need 2 see
Blacula/Sugar Hill (Castro)
The Darjeeling Limited
The Game Plan
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (Castro, seen tonight)
Matinee/Gremlins 2 (Castro, Joe Dante in attendance)
Night of the Creeps (Clay)

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