Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.
For the Top 15 list, I wanted to write something about what it is I love so much about horror films, and why it's the greatest genre ever. I didn't really pull that off, but here's a couple paragraphs about what I most respond to in horror movies, and what I find stupid and boring.
I'm sure by now, this has already become relatively clear, but when it comes to what I love in a horror film, at the very top of the list is gore and humor. Followed closely by dark and disturbing content, and then nudity and anything over-the-top and excessive. When a film is scary, that is pretty fucking fantastic, too, but it happens much too infrequently for me to judge any horror film on that merit. There is only one movie ever that has not just kept me on the edge of my seat, but truly fucking terrified me to the point where I was nervous about continuing to watch, and that film is #7 on this list. There are a handful of films that make me feel tense, and I'm very appreciative when this happens, but in general, I just don't really respond to suspense, and the films that rely on suspense exclusively are the ones that almost always leave me disappointed. And so I don't watch horror films to be scared, I watch them to squirm and to laugh, and hopefully be a little disturbed. A few of the films at the top of my list are not generally considered to be "great films" (some have even been accused of being "bad"), but this results from a drastic under-rating of the importance of comedy and the importance of being grossed out.
Conversely, at the very bottom of the list of things I want from a horror movie, below boring and ineffective suspense, would be social commentary, metaphors, or any kind of moralistic message. There are plenty of films that incorporate this (like, 99% of them pretty much), and are still very good films; it's not like it ruins anything. But it sure as fuck doesn't improve the film either, and it's not something I'm looking for when I watch. Romero's Dawn of the Dead didn't make my Top 100 list because it's too long and never quite compelling enough to make up for it, and it's famous social commentary does not make me reconsider that. But the most irritating form of this is a personal pet peeve, and can be found somewhere pretty deep beneath the very bottom of the list of what I want from horror, and that would be "representative of humanity's loneliness". I'm not thinking of anything specific, but it's one of those things that comes up on occasion and is always given a whole lot more credit than it deserves. I mean, really, who fucking cares, seriously. Often related to that, and also at the bottom of the list (though not beneath it), would be confusing. Confusing does not equal scary, Asia. Though, again, I have nothing specific in mind.
The Top 15 Greatest Fucking Horror Movies Ever Made!
15. Alice, Sweet Alice (1976, Alfred Sole)
I really love the look of this film. It's a gritty 70's look that lends itself best to VHS, and I was pleased that the DVD release didn't try to clean it up to look all sparkly, thus losing some of the charm. I also love how everyone in this film is cold and emotionless and unlikable, if not downright creepy and disgusting. The only character we can really feel sympathy for is the titular Alice, but even she kills a kitten at one point (though it is done in self-defense (not from the kitten, from a potential rapist who the kitten belongs to)). My favorite scene in the movie involves the mean aunt being stabbed in the legs and feet while walking down the stairs, tumbling down, and crawling outside into the rain screaming.
14. The Hills Have Eyes (2006, Alexandre Aja*)
Wes Craven deserves the credit for coming up with a brilliant concept, and for that matter, for making a good, creepy film, but Aja's startlingly similar remake steps it up a notch every fucking step of the way. The mutants are scarier (no offense to Michael Berryman, but he's really kind of adorable in the original, and not by any means terrifying), the violence is much scarier and more intense, and the suspense is about as high as it fucking gets. The scene with two of the mutants invading the trailer is absolutely traumatizing.
13. Return of the Living Dead (1985, Dan O'Bannon)
A prime example of what horror films ought to be. O'Bannon knows that zombies are plenty fascinating on their own, without having to represent consumerism or whatever, and manages to have smart and poignant examinations of what it means to be a zombie, without ever getting away from being a massively entertaining film replete with gore, laughs, excellent special effects, and Linnea Quigley dancing naked.
12. Night of the Creeps (1986, Fred Dekker*)
A movie I would fucking love as either a horror movie or an 80's comedy, and it manages to gel the two together perfectly, while simultaneously delivering a touching portrayal of friendship and first love. It's a brilliant film from start to finish, with characters you care about, inventive monsters, head explosions, and a phenomenal performance from Tom Atkins. Somebody get this shit the fuck on DVD right away!
11. Imprint (2006, Takashi Miike)
The story is bleak and horrifying, with imagery to match. It's got buckets of abortion, deformity, prostitution, really intense torture involving fingernails that I almost can't watch, and an unexpected hilarious-but-still-creepy mutation. That's all you really need for a perfect film. It doesn't matter that the beginning is kind of slow, or the ending is too ambiguous, or that Billy Drago's acting is possibly brilliant but more likely just kinda painful, because this movie could not possibly deliver any more to make up for it.
10. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Part 2* (1986, Tobe Hooper*)
The original may be gritty and realistic, but it is no match for the over-the-top and, I would argue, equally disturbing sequel. Chop Top constantly scratching the metal plate in his head with a coat hanger has haunted me far more than the Hitchhiker cutting his hand open ever could. Leatherface is the best chainsaw dancer I've ever seen. Stretch is probably the best Final Girl from any slasher movie. And Dennis Hopper is Dennis Hopper (amazing).
9. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984, Charles E. Sellier Jr.)
The greatest Christmas movie ever made! Nothing else (not directed by William Wegman) comes close! What I love most about this movie is how much sympathy it builds for the killer. After witnessing his parents being killed by someone dressed as Santa when he's a little kid, the mentally ill Billy ends up working at a toy store in his adult life. When his boss requires him to dress as Santa for the holidays, Billy doesn't want to kill anyone, but he thinks that's what Santa is supposed to do, and he's just trying to do a good job. It's really kinda heartbreaking. But hilarious! The sledding beheading is amazing.
8. Zombie (aka Zombi 2) (1979, Lucio Fulci*)
Not only is it the only movie I know of to have an alternate title that implies it's a sequel
to itself (which there's actually a fairly logical explanation for, but it's funnier to pretend there isn't), it's also the only movie to feature an underwater battle between a zombie and a fucking shark! And to top that shit off, it's an unrelenting gorefest with an eye-gouging scene that will blow your fucking mind.
7. The Ring (2002, Gore Verbinski)
Hands fucking down, the scariest movie I've ever seen. There comes a point in this movie where I almost can't take it, and start wishing the movie would slow the fuck down and let me take a breather. Thankfully, it doesn't. It keeps fucking going until I'm at the fucking brink of fear, and then works it's way to the ending and my assurance that everything is ok at a slow and gradual pace. Unfortunately, though, just as The Exorcist or The Woman in Black or the original Ringu do nothing for me, scare-wise, The Ring doesn't work for absolutely everyone, either. I've had little kids tell me they found it boring and look at me like I'm a pussy for saying I thought otherwise. So if you haven't seen it, don't expect to have the same reaction I did, but you should still see it anyway, because I think it'll hold up as a good movie either way.
6. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors* (1987, Chuck Russell)
A perfect sequel that stays true to the original in every way, while also stepping it up. It's a whole lot campier, with a truly 80's cast of characters and a stream of one-liners from Freddy, but with a compelling story and plenty of gruesome kills, it remains just as vicious and frightening.
5. Re-Animator* (1985, Stuart Gordon*)
I don't know what to say. Re-Animator is fucking
perfect, there's not much to add. The casting is perfect, the gore is perfect, the story is perfect. It's an incredible film, and a must-see for anyone with even a moderate interest in the horror genre.
4. Sleepaway Camp* (1983, Robert Hiltzik)
You may not really know for sure if the protagonist, Angela, is the killer or not, but you also don't really care. You love her and want what's best for her no matter what. This film is campy and adorable, with ridiculous death scenes, and an ending you will never forget.
3. Cabin Fever (2002, Eli Roth*)
The main characters in this movie are the kinds of people that you would never, ever want to actually be friends with, but watching them onscreen, they could not possibly be any more entertaining and lovable. Have them interact with some of the most memorably bizarre backwoods characters you've ever seen, and you've got a phenomenal comedy. Then set up a creepy atmosphere and cover everything in blood, and it comes pretty damn close to being the greatest horror film of all time. I like the Hostel films a lot, but going back to Cabin Fever is super-depressing when you see Roth's potential for absolute brilliance.
2. Braindead (aka Dead Alive) (1992, Peter Jackson*)
This would be one of my favorite movies even if I watched it on mute. The fact that the story is pretty good, the lead is adorable, and the dialogue is hilarious sure doesn't hurt. The unstoppable gore in the second half is like nothing else before or since, with countless gallons of blood and jaw-droppingly seamless special effects. It's one of the most beautiful things ever put to film, and as much as I love pretty much everything in Peter Jackson's filmography, this is something he will never be able to live up to. This needs an easily accessible and pristine-looking UNCUT dvd release so fucking bad.
1. TIE: Troll 2* (1990, Claudio Fragasso) & Funny Games (1997 or 2007, Michael Haneke*)
Two unconventional horror films, both that were almost not included at all, for completely opposite reasons. Troll 2 is so campy and ridiculous and unscary, it's hard to remember it's about monsters killing people. The blood may be replaced by green slime, but it's still pretty gory in it's own way, and although it's not necessarily what I'm hoping for when I put on a horror film, it's still undeniably based in the genre, and its almost unprecedented entertainment value manages to place it above anything else out there. Funny Games, however, is so ruthless and starkly realistic, it's hard to remember it as a horror film because of the camp value and gratuitous stylings it
lacks. Horror it is, though, and it's brilliantly horrifying and perfectly executed. It's brutal and it's shocking and it never lets up, and I just love the fucking shit out of it. As different as they are, Funny Games and Troll 2 are equally amazing, and they are both the greatest fucking horror films ever made!
In addition to list-making, I also really love pie charts. Here's a pie chart that shows what decades all the films in the Horror Top 100 are from.
And here's a chart about the countries they're from.
And here's a more specific country chart.
If you want to watch every film on this list (which should be a no-brainer), and want to keep track of how much you've seen, I posted it up on Lists of Bests, so you can fill it out here!
Can I say... This is by far the greatest list of Horror I have ever seen... Well researched and thought out! I tip my hat to you good sir/Ma'am! Most Jackass' online who post shitty lists are just that... SHITTY! You did your homework... Well Done Once again! Keep Up The Good Work! Its pretty awesome... Fuck Shit Up! Your friend...
Me...
Posted by: Matt Larson | April 24, 2009 at 12:05 AM