"Me name is James Bond. James...Bond." Reviews (10/19-11/25, James Bond Mega-post)
10/19
The Living Daylights (1987, John Glen, dvd) - 8
Timothy Dalton takes over the role of James Bond, and instantly proves himself the fucking best at it. Olivia D'Abo's near-identical cousin Maryam is also in it, and makes a good Bond girl. It's about Joe Don Baker wanting to start a new World War or something, and it's got a good pace.
Poster: His stance is really awkward, but the girl with the gun is really good. Another one has a tagline that says "The most dangerous Bond. Ever." which is pretty good, and accurate (at the time, anyway). - 8
10/26
Licence to Kill (1989, John Glen, dvd) - 9
James Bond's friend's wife is killed, and the friend is nearly killed by a shark, so Bond seeks revenge and ruthlessly murders anyone who gets in his way. Timothy Dalton is fucking awesome in it, and this is easily the best Bond film I've seen so far.
Poster: It's pretty good. Dalton looks intense. - 7.5
11/2
GoldenEye (1995, Martin Campbell, dvd) - 7.5
Pierce Brosnan plays Bond, and he has to stop the Russians from blowing something up, and the bad guy behind it all is an effective surprise. This one gets into some really fucking ridiculous territory, which mostly works out. Famke Janssen's character is especially ridiculous, and is pretty much amazing.
Poster: I like it. Oh, I didn't even get it at first! It's focused on his eye. - 8
11/5
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997, Roger Spottiswoode, dvd) - 7.5
Jonathan Pryce is a media mogul who fucks shit up in order to create his own exciting news, and he tries to start a war between the UK and China, but Bond and Michelle Yeoh aren't gonna fucking take it. This is a pretty good one, although the dialogue is fairly horrible. A little bit funny, but basically horrible. All the stuff with Michelle Yeoh is great.
Poster: It's alright. - 6
11/9
The World Is Not Enough (1999, Michael Apted, dvd) - 7.5
Robert Carlyle plays a terrorist who wants to blow something up, and Bond has to stop him. It's good. I think this is the first movie where Bond actually gets injured. He heals in like a day, but it was still good to see. And they show a bit of his cold-blooded side, too, previously seen only in the Dalton movies.
Poster: I like it. A lot of the Bond posters are too fucking chaotic, and I always end up choosing the more subtle ones, but this one actually works. - 7.5
11/16
Die Another Day (2002, Lee Tamahori, blu-ray) - 8
Someone betrays James Bond in Korea and he gets captured and tortured for 14 months, and once free, sets out to figure out what the fuck is going on. Halle Berry helps out, and she kinda sucks in it despite being a pretty good character. The villain creates a second sun in space, which in my book, makes him the most evil villain from any movie ever, but he only uses it as a space laser to try to kill Bond with. The plot is really good, and the pacing is better than usual. I liked this one a lot.
Poster: Clever. Cuz there's ice in the movie! And Bond's gonna defeat it with his gun. - 8
11/24
Casino Royale (2006, Martin Campbell, blu-ray) - 9.5
Bond gets promoted to 00 status, and he has to prevent Le Chiffre from winning a billion dollars in a poker tournament, so it doesn't get back to criminals and terrorists. Watching 23 other Bond movies before this one, it's hard to even think of it as a part of the same series. I guess it's a reboot, starting from scratch, but still. This isn't just the best Bond film, it's simply a great fucking film. I was excited for Quantum of Solace because it was the shortest in the series, and nearly every single Bond movie is too fucking long, and would've been a thousand times better with 20-30 minutes cut out, but Casino Royale is gripping and entertaining in a way that I could watch for hours. I love Timothy Dalton's Bond because he's ruthless, and completely focused on completing his mission at all costs. Daniel Craig's Bond is the same way, but he adds in fucking crazy. All the movies have ridiculous action sequences where Bond does impossible feats, and whereas before, Bond pulled it off through skill and luck, Craig pulls it off by being fucking insane with determination. The action scenes, by the way, are incredible, with no shaky cams and rapid editing, you get to see everything that's happening, and it's tense as fuck. Everything's incredible. The whole thing is just fucking perfect.
Poster: Craig looks very tough and serious. It works. - 9
One Hour Later
Quantum of Solace (2008, Marc Forster, 35mm) - 7.5
This takes place one hour after the events of Casino Royale, and I didn't actually watch it exactly an hour later as planned because it was already like 1 in the morning, so we watched it in however long it took to drive to the theater and thread the movie. Anyway, it's about a group of people who have oil and they're hiding water or something, it wasn't really worth following. Despite the disposable story, I still liked it. Craig makes the movie, pretty much, and I really liked his affection for M.
Poster: This poster is amazing in person because it's made out of vinyl or something. Very fancy. Also, I really fucking love how they did the 007 thing with the O's. I also really like this poster. - 9
11/25
Spyz (short, rewatch, 2003, James Bobin, youtube) - 9.5
Ali G's short action movie he tried to sell to Hollywood producers. It's really hilarious.
So now that I've seen all 25 Bond films, including the unofficial entries, here are some lists of rankings.
Order of Preference for Actors Playing Bond
1. Daniel Craig
2. Timothy Dalton
3. Roger Moore
4. Pierce Brosnan
5. Sean Connery
6. Barry Nelson
7. David Niven
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8. George Lazenby
I did like Craig more than Dalton, but not by very much, and Dalton is still incredibly underrated. They approached the character in the same way, as a reckless and cold-blooded killer, so I don't understand why one is praised and the other is considered to be the worst.
Order of Preference for the Movies
1. Casino Royale (2006, Craig)
2. Licence to Kill (1989, Dalton)
3. Moonraker (1979, Moore)
4. The Living Daylights (1987, Dalton)
5. Live and Let Die (1973, Moore)
6. Die Another Day (2002, Brosnan)
7. GoldenEye (1995, Brosnan)
8. Never Say Never Again (1983, unofficial entry, Connery)
9. Quantum of Solace (2008, Craig)
10. Octopussy (1983, Moore)
11. Tomorrow Never Dies (1997, Brosnan)
12. The World Is Not Enough (1999, Brosnan)
13. The Spy Who Loved Me (1977, Moore)
14. The Man with the Golden Gun (1974, Moore)
15. Diamonds Are Forever (1971, Connery)
16. A View to a Kill (1985, Moore)
17. Casino Royale (1954, tv movie with Peter Lorre, Nelson as Bond (though clearly it should have been Lorre))
18. Casino Royale (1967, unofficial entry, Niven (mostly) as Bond)
19. You Only Live Twice (1967, Connery)
20. Goldfinger (1964, Connery)
21. Dr. No (1962, Connery)
22. For Your Eyes Only (1981, Moore)
23. From Russia with Love (1963, Connery)
24. Thunderball (1965, Connery)
25. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969, Lazenby)
I liked all of them at least a little, but I'd say 16-25 are fairly mediocre.
Top 5 Favorite Opening Credits Sequences
1. Casino Royale
2. A View to a Kill
3. Live and Let Die
4. Die Another Day
5. The Spy Who Loved Me
Top 5 Favorite Villains/Henchmen
1.
Jaws (Richard Kiel in The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker)
2.
Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize in The Man with the Golden Gun)
3.
Dr. Kananga (Yaphet Kotto in Live and Let Die)
4.
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd (Bruce Glover and Putter Smith in Diamonds Are Forever)
5.
Whisper (Earl Jolly Brown in Live and Let Die)
Honorable Mentions:
Top 10 Favorite Bond Girls (mostly based on awesomeness more than looks, but also a combination)
1.
Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen in GoldenEye)
2.
Vesper Lynd (Eva Green in Casino Royale)
3.
May Day (Grace Jones in A View to a Kill)
4.
Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera in Never Say Never Again)
5.
Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh in Tomorrow Never Dies)
6.
Naomi (Caroline Munro in The Spy Who Loved Me)
7.
Kara Milovy (Maryam D'Abo in The Living Daylights)
8.
Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell in Licence To Kill)
9.
Domino (Kim Basinger in Never Say Never Again)
10.
Ruby Bartlett (Angela Scoular in On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
What is that guy talking about?
Posted by: Liposuction | January 06, 2009 at 11:56 AM