some terrible fucking movies I watched in 2008

I saw a lot of shitty movies last year. I saw eleven that ended up making my list of The 110 Worst Fucking Movies Of All Time Ever, four of which are in the Bottom 10 of that list, including #1. I also saw Norbit last year, which just barely managed to not make this list. That means that none of the following movies are as good as Norbit.

The Bottom 15 Worst Fucking Movies I Watched in 2008
1. Werckmeister Harmonies

2. Last Year at Marienbad
3. Two for the Road
4. Wings of Desire

5. The Last Picture Show
6. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
7. The Trial
8. Two Front Teeth
9. Surf School
10. Up and Down

11. Lawrence of Arabia
12. On the Beach
13. The Amityville Curse
14. Silent Night, Bloody Night
15. Fraulein (2006)

Here are some helpful descriptions:
Werckmeister Harmonies is about people walking. I recommend it if you hate yourself.

Last Year at Marienbad is a mystery about some bullshit. Two for the Road is about horrible people being horrible to each other, and if you think too hard about people like that actually existing, you'll probably end up killing yourself. Wings of Desire is about an angel who wants to be human, and is basically a documentary on why mind-reading would be the most boring superpower ever.

The Last Picture Show is about teenagers in the 50's being boring. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington is about James Stewart essentially saying "Gosh" over and over again for two hours. The Trial is about Anthony Perkins being arrested and he doesn't know why, and it looks good but is fucking boring. Two Front Teeth is about killer elves and ninja nuns, but it's terrible. Surf School is a shitty comedy that's not funny. Up and Down is about people bicycling up a mountain.

Lawrence of Arabia is about the desert or whatever. On the Beach is about the apocalypse, and nothing really happens, and it's boring, despite a good cast. The Amityville Curse is about some friends in a haunted house, and it's stupid. Silent Night, Bloody Night is about a mental institution or something, I already forgot. Fraulein is about women who work I guess, I don't know, I couldn't pay attention.

The Bottom 5 Worst Short Films I Watched in 2008
1. The trailer for Contempt
2. Rocky VI

3. The Mayflower Voyagers
4. Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
5. Hardware Wars

I had to see the trailer for Contempt twice at the Castro (once before Last Year at Marienbad, making it an all-around fucking horrible night at the movies). I don't know if the obnoxiousness of it will really translate to youtube (watch it here if you want), but I'm sure you can at least get a feel for how fucking long it seems to go on for. Watch it at full volume for maximum effect. Rocky VI is an Aki Kaurismaki short that is supposed to be a satire of the Rocky movies, but ends up making you appreciate the Rocky movies even more, because at least they don't have a painfully retarded sense of humor.

The Mayflower Voyagers is a Peanuts cartoon with talking adults, and it's pretty dumb. Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas is about otters who are poor, and I'll get into what I didn't like when I eventually post a review. Hardware Wars is an extended fake trailer for a Star Wars parody, and it's not very funny.

The Bottom 4 Worst Fucking Acting Performances I Watched in 2008
1. Albert Finney in Two for the Road
2. Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve (which would've been an incredible movie with any other lead actor)
3. James Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
4. George Clooney in O Brother, Where Art Thou?

The Bottom 2 Worst Movie Endings I Watched in 2008
1. Throw Away Your Books, Rally in the Streets
2. Explorers (otherwise a great movie)

Spoilers:
Throw Away Your Books ends with an endless monologue about being an actor on a movie set, something like that, and it's really painful. Explorers ends with the kids making it to space, and having their dreams crushed when it turns out aliens are the most annoying creatures imaginable.

The Bottom 1 Most Misleading Title for a Movie I Watched in 2008
1. The Naughty Cheerleader

The lead girl in this movie is neither a cheerleader, nor is she especially naughty. Don't ever be tricked into watching this movie, not even Klaus Kinski makes it worthwhile.

Comments

[Matt Z]

I have to say... I Never saw any of those movies except Rocky 6!
Rocky 6 would have been good if, Stallone wasnt the Director or whatever he was! but the idea of him facing a real boxer, and it to look like a real match.. WAS THE WORST IDEA

I grew up watching those movies, and they were awesome.. They basically made real boxing look like crap!

apparently upsuppsoed to plug my website when i make comments according to the internet
http://www.mymorningstory.com

[Placenta Ovaries]

I was actually referring to a short film called Rocky VI from Finland, that was meant to be a satire of the Rocky films. I actually like Rocky Balboa quite a bit.